Teacher:   Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would  your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know  maths.
Ted: You don't know my  father!
.............

Mother:   David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint  me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my  report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong  Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you  now.
................................

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for  me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love

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Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can  that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was  born

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Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: "Singapore,  Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me,  Sir."
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A  teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between  'unlawful'
And 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer,  Joan" said the teacher.
"'unlawful' is when u do something the law  doesn't allow and 'illegal' is
A sick  eagle."

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Teacher:  "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow: "No comb,  Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow: "No hair,  Sir."

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A boy  came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked  his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u  mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C'  level"